WT 004: What Is the Best Way to Discipline My Kids?

by Karen Stubbs | Birds on a Wire | Wire Talk Podcast

On today’s show, Karen is talking about one of the most popular questions she gets: What’s the Best Way to Discipline My Kids?

Question: “I am pro-spanking, but my husband – who had an abusive father – isn’t so sure. How do we navigate this together?”

Karen’s Answer: I love the fact that as a wife you want to get on the same page as your husband.  In my opinion, being on the same page with your husband is a must! I think I would sit down with your husband and explain to him what pro-spanking looks like in your terms. You would never want to abuse your child, but explain to him what it is you are thinking.  

There were plenty of times where Greg and I were not on the same page. Since Greg traveled, he didn’t want to come in and discipline the kids after he had been gone for two weeks.  He said it did not feel right to him.  So, I had to sit down and explain to Greg why it was important we get on the same page, even more so because he traveled.  I would sense in my children that they would take advantage of the situation.  I started filling Greg in on the kids and their behavior while he was traveling. That would help him know what was going on in the family even before he re-entered.

Question: “My son respects discipline from his father, but not from me. Any tips?”

Karen’s Answer: This problem happens all the time. Have the three of you sit down, and let the father lead the conversation. Have Dad tell the son: “Mom is in charge when I’m not home and even when I am home, we operate as a team, so when you disobey, disrespect her, you are disrespecting me AND more importantly you are disrespecting my wife. Which is not cool and I wont tolerate that.” The old saying is true, “United we stand, divided we fall.”

Question: “Any recommendations for discipline in the car? Specifically, to treat the “she’s touching me” syndrome?”

Karen’s Answer: The car is hard. And the kids know it! They know that you more than likely are not going to stop the car and discipline them. But, if you stop one time, it will stick in their minds for a long time. Being in a confined space is hard especially long road trips—children get bored and sensitive towards siblings. Part of that is normal and cannot be stopped, but when it starts to get out of hand, don’t be afraid to pull over and deal with the matter.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Karen and Greg’s Discipline Talk: Watch now. 

MomCore DVD

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